Beldames’ Saloon

Research shows that at any one time more than half of us are dreaming of a new life overseas, but few actually succeed in making the transition from fantasy to reality.

To completely turn everything on its head and start your life all over again in a foreign country is an incredible undertaking and one that many dream of but most ultimately shy away from.

If you would like to make your dream a reality this article will help you find the courage and strength you need to: -

- Define your new life

- Find your motivation for making your new life a reality

- Overcome any fears or uncertainty

- Practically work to find your ideal destination

- And avoid some of the more common pitfalls

What is it about your current life that you would like to change?

This will be the most important step on your road to getting a new life - finding out whether you really do want a new life or whether you simply need to make adjustments to your current life - it’s all about finding your motivation!

Take a look at the following areas of your life. Write down honestly and exactly why you are dissatisfied or disillusioned with them, or how you would like to change them. Then write down if and how moving abroad will bring you closer to satisfaction in these areas.

Hopefully there are areas of your life that you are perfectly happy with, if that’s the case, make a note of how these areas of your life will be affected if you move overseas - either positively or negatively.

a) Your work/job/career.

b) Your living environment/your home/your home town.

c) Your personal/family life.

d) Your social life.

The point of this exercise is getting a reality check and ultimately defining your motivation for seeking a new life.

You can keep coming back to what’s important to keep and what’s important to change as you progress with your planning. This will make sure you stay on track and aren’t running away from something negative only for it to follow you, and you aren’t leaving behind something important.

Once you have your motivation defined this will guide the rest of your journey.

Step Two - Stop thinking “what have I got to lose” - instead, start asking yourself “what have I got to gain?”

Time to be utterly selfish - and time for another list!

You and your important people - i.e., anyone else you want to move overseas with (partner, children) - need to sit down and make a ‘life wish list.’

What is it you want out of life…?

Write down everything, no matter how trivial or how incredible…
Now compare lists!

Find common ground, find compromise and ultimately see how the dreams you’ve all now defined will be reconciled with the reality of a new life abroad.

Again, as you progress with your planning you can keep these dreams in mind and make sure you’re progressing in the right direction to achieve them.

Step Three - Honesty and self knowledge.

You and your family now need to be honest with yourselves about the type of people you are.

Are new beginnings a thrill and challenge for you or does the thought truly scare you?

If you go into a blind panic at the thought, are you certain that you want to uproot yourself and go through the stress that does go with any new start?

Yes, the rewards are there but you do have to battle through some stresses to get there.

If you know that as a family unit you will survive, or you’re considering making the move alone and you know that you’re strong enough to keep going through the unknown to establish a life for yourself, then all you now need to do is go back to your motivation for choosing a new life abroad and hold on to that…it will get you through.

Step Four - Choosing the right country.

You may already have a country in mind; somewhere you’ve holidayed and fallen in love with, somewhere you already have family or friends or somewhere you’ve seen on the TV or in movies and where you dream of making a new life…

Some people do have very definite plans about where in the world they’d like to be this time next year, but it seems that just as many people are a little overwhelmed at the choice and have yet to make a final destination decision.

So, how do you decide?

Well, everyone has different desires but as a general guide, the following are some of the main areas you should consider and research before you make your ultimate choice. They’ll help your head keep your heart in check when you visit and fall in love with a property or pace of life!

Demographics
Population statistics
Immigration policy
Cost of living
School rankings & quality of education
Career & job prospects
Law & order
Accessibility & transportation
Health care services
Weather & climate
Ease of relocation
Lifestyle & entertainment

Step Five - Visit the countries you’ve short listed as dream destinations.

This may sound so obvious to many people, but unfortunately in my time as an expatriate in 5 very different countries I’ve met many people who have made the move based on house prices or photographs alone and seriously regret their decision.

You have to get a feel for a country before you make a commitment to it.

First impressions do count but they are not the be all and end all - when you spend longer in a place you begin to see both the cracks and the hidden treasures.

Step Six - Remember that you can’t run away from your problems or who you are.

Problems, issues, debts and emotional baggage will follow you around the world!

You’ll still react to upsets the same way whether you’re at home or abroad.

Self knowledge is the key to success in life. Problems always crop up, but if you can learn to live or deal with them before you go, you are far more likely to survive life abroad.

Step Seven - Ready, steadily, go!

If you’ve done your homework, covered all the considerations and suggestions I’ve made, and researched all your options you will have found your motivation, found the inner stoicism to see this through, and you will ultimately have your new life mapped out in your mind.

You are now ready to make the whole thing happen!

It’s time to move steadily through the practicalities of sorting out your old life and preparing your new life.

And if you spend time dealing with the necessary organisation and arrangements, the time to go will come around so quickly, you’ll soon find you’re living your new life abroad and never looking back.

Rhiannon Williamson is a publisher with specialist knowledge covering literally every single aspect of moving & living abroad.
From offshore investment and offshore banking to international living and buying property abroad.

Check out her site Shelter Offshore to find out how you can escape from the rat race, relocate overseas, and profit from your move!

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“When you live the life you were meant to live, doing the work you were meant to do, enjoying what pleases you, instead of collecting meaningless lifestyles trophies, you will be full of joy and energy. ”
Thomas Leonard, Coach University

Life or Lifestyle?

What is a lifestyle and how is that different from a life? A lifestyle is about brand names and buying identity or prestige. Lifestyle gives a false sense of peace and acceptability that comes from others recognizing what you’ve bought into (as well as bought). If your car, clothes, and home are expensive, you’re sophisticated and stylish. If you have the right kind of job or go to the right social gatherings, then you receive the superficial approval of others. This means that your self-esteem is always at the mercy of others, with no appreciation of you as an individual.

A life, on the other hand, is very different. A life is what you lead when you know what matters most to you. It is very simple and comes from being connected to what you know is important and being willing to put that first, not matter what others may think. When you create a life vs. a lifestyle, your self-esteem comes from what’s inside you, not what others think about you.

How many times have you seen someone (this used to be me!) work long hours in a job that they do not enjoy just to be able to maintain an expensive lifestyle? There was a recent commercial on TV that showed a man laughing in his yard saying: “I drive an expensive car, have a 5 bedroom home, a country club membership, a swimming pool and I’m in debt up to my eyeballs!” Every time I see this commercial I think about the book - The Millionaire Next Door. The book says that most of the people living in the largest homes are exactly like the man in the commercial and that the real millionaires are the ones you would never guess, because their focus is on creating a life vs. a lifestyle.

Lifestyle is expensive monetarily and personally, because it costs a great deal to keep up appearances and do what you think is socially acceptable. A Life is not expensive. Rather than draining personal or financial resources, a life generates energy and staying power. If we focus on what we wear, or what kind of car we drive, or where we live, then we are saying that how others see us is more important than what we think of ourselves. If we find out what our true beliefs and values are and choose to live by these, then the opinions of others don’t drive our lives. This is not an issue of avoiding luxury for its own sake; it’s about liberating yourself from the mindless consumption that society dictates. It is about making the choices that are in line with your values, instead of draining your bank account or energy for no heart-driven reason.

How can you make the change? Understand the difference between a Life (being directed from within) and a Lifestyle (being directed from outside). Analyze your current lifestyle to see what it is costing you in money, time, stress, and energy to maintain it. Let go and make room for what is really important to you, what sustains you and brings you joy. Remember that who you are comes from within, not what you own!

Copyright May 2004 by Vicki Miller

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what’s most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in the way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (coach.v.miller@verizon.net), to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at http://www.thrivingthroughchange.com

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Have you been trying to develop ideas for a new product or service? Did you get stuck? Well, List And Twist is a simple technique that might help you out.

The List And Twist technique is one of many that are loosely based on the idea of random stimulation, that is, introducing something unusual to take your train of thought in an entirely different direction.

Here we don’t do anything too radical. Simply think of a product or service that you currently have and apply the words or phrases from the List And Twist checklist and see what they suggest. They may seem strange but they just might jog your memory! For instance I showed the list to someone who was writing a childrens’ book and they were taken by the suggestion of adding a smell! The net result - a scratch and sniff book.

Try it for yourself and see.

Add a step, find other uses, slow down, rearrange the steps, improve the quality, reduce the quality, add motion, add an ingredient, make it easier, change packaging, combine ingredients, align with other product, de-automate parts, make it more extreme, make it more expensive , put some fun in it, substitute materials, find new distribution, change the state, make it self service, combine other processes, change the shape , add more service,
make it a game, put a story with it, celebrity connection, reverse the concept, turn it upside down, purify it, add nostalgia, add smell, add colour, make it transparent

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Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our own merit as individuals.

Some of the common false beliefs regarding what creates self-esteem are:

* I will feel good about my self when I’m making $______(fill in the amount) a year.

* I will feel worthy when I am in a relationship with a (beautiful) (handsome) (wealthy) (loving) (fill in own) person.

* I will feel worthy when I get enough approval from enough people.

* I will feel adequate when I have a baby.

* I will feel adequate when_______( fill in desired outcome that you attach to your sense of worth).

However, there are many people who have all of the above and still do not feel a deep sense of self-esteem. That’s because self-esteem has nothing to do with anything external, such as looks, approval, money, relationships with others, or having a baby.

Self-esteem, or the lack of it, is solely the result of how we treat ourselves. Those people who attend to their own feelings and needs with loving action on their own behalf feel good about themselves, while those people who ignore, invalidate, or judge their own feelings and needs feel badly about themselves.

For example, Anna grew up with parents who were hardworking and very caring about their children, but who didn’t take good care of themselves. Both of her parents smoked, drank too much, and didn’t eat well. Neither of them took responsibility for their own feelings, so both of them were anxious or depressed much of the time. Even though her parents were loving to her, Anna does not take good care of herself, having had no role modeling for personal responsibility, She doesn’t eat well or get enough exercise, doesn’t stand up for herself at home or at work, and doesn’t get enough rest or playtime. She is very attractive, makes lots of money, has a husband and children, yet often feels very insecure.

If you imagine that her feelings and needs are like a child within, you can begin to see why she doesn’t feel good about herself. Treating herself badly will always result in feeling badly. You might be tempted to think that she treats herself badly because she doesn’t feel good about herself, and that’s true, but she will not feel good about herself until she treats herself as a worthwhile person. Her good feelings will come from her loving action toward herself. The more loving action she is willing to take on her own behalf - taking physical, emotional, financial, organizational, relationship, and spiritual responsibility - the better she will feel about herself.

How can Anna be motivated to take loving care of herself when she doesn’t feel good about herself? It seems like a vicious circle, yet there is a way out. Anna doesn’t feel motivated to take care of herself because she thinks that who she is, is her ego, the wounded part of herself whom she doesn’t like. Yet if Anna opens to knowing who she really is - that she beautiful and perfect child of God, that her essence, her true Self is a spark of God, created in the image of God - she will want to take loving care of this wonderful soul within.

When Anna begins to take loving care of herself, her wounded self - the part of herself that has low self-esteem - begins to heal. The more Anna feeds herself well, gets enough exercise and rest, speaks up for herself and tells her truth, takes care of her financial situation, organizes her time and environment, treats others with kindness and compassion, and opens to her spiritual Guidance or Higher Power, the better she will feel about herself. Self-esteem is the result of taking loving action, not the cause of it. Since we all have free will, we each have the choice to take loving action on our own behalf.

It doesn’t matter how badly you were treated as a child, or how badly your parents treated themselves. Your actions need never be governed by your past. If you devote yourself, moment-by-moment, to taking loving action on our own behalf, you will discover that the result is high self-esteem.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

margaret@innerbonding.com

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