Beldames’ Saloon

Have you ever found yourself judging anyone, including yourself? Welcome to the human race! The phenomenon of judging — deciding that someone is “not okay,”–is something most people do–including me. In fact, in my career as a therapist, I usually found that the few men and women who believed that they never judged anyone, were in denial.

As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I have had the opportunity to explore this common occurrence with my clients. I noticed the destructive power of this self-defeating action–for both the judge and the judged. For example, John, a five year old boy, felt terrible when his father called him stupid when he made a mistake. John then judged himself and decided that he was stupid. This negative decision hurt his self-esteem and affected his life in many ways, including having an adverse effect on his career and relationships.

Meanwhile, Bill, the father, was also judged by his parent when he was growing up and believed that he himself was stupid. When Bill judged anyone else for making a mistake, he was unconsciously reaffirming his own negative belief about himself. The father also felt even worse about himself when his son performed poorly in school because he decided that he was stupid.

Judgments perpetuate our fears, and our fears “feed” our judgments. To stop this viscous cycle, you can let go of judging and overcome your fears.

If you want to have less judgment in your life, it is helpful to be aware of when it happens to you. Some of the most common signs of judgments are phrases such as: “You are wrong!” “You should __.” or “You ought to __.” Pointing a finger at someone is a clear symptom of judgment. Also listen to your own feelings–when you feel bad or hurt, when you want to rebel or yell, “No!”, or you feel you want to judge back. If any of these symptoms appear, I suggest that you take a deep breath and make constructive statements like: “I prefer that you give me your opinion and then accept my decision;” “I feel judged and that doesn’t feel good;” When you speak to me that way I want to rebel;” “Please tell me what you would like to happen and not what I should do;” Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I have a different opinion;” or “What are you concerned about?”

I have decided that I no longer want to hurt myself or others with judgments. So I have been paying close attention to my words and thoughts. The results have been amazing. I feel healthier, better about myself and my relationships are improving dramatically. You can also feel these benefits when you make a commitment not to judge, and to accept what happens as an impartial observer.

In the case of abuse, I encourage you to remove yourself from the destructive situation or tell the person, “This doesn’t feel good to me,” or “That is not okay with me.” Then share specifically what is okay or does feel good. Notice that you are taking care of yourself in a constructive way without judging anyone.

When we all get off our high bench and discard the role of the judge, we will be happier, healthier and more successful in every area of our lives. Imagine the impact on the world. There would be no wars because we would stop hurting ourselves, and then, naturally, we would not want to hurt others. I know that to be true, because when I feel accepting of myself, I find it easy to be kind and accepting of others. Have you noticed that same pattern in yourself or others?

Try these little experiments. Think of a judgment of yourself and be aware of how you feel. Notice any pain or tightness in any part of your body. Then say a positive statement about yourself and notice the difference. Do the same exercise with others. You are likely to feel much better when you are accepting yourself and the other person.

Spend one day consciously accepting people and yourself and avoiding all judging thoughts, words and actions. Notice carefully what happens. I think you will be pleased.

If you are ready to help yourself and others feel good by not judging anymore and you need some support, start a group and call it “Judges Anonymous.” Meet regularly to help each other to be aware of your judgments in a fun and profound way. Then focus on acceptance, which is one of the major keys to successful living.

Whether you choose to attend such a group or do it cold turkey on your own, be patient with yourself. Avoid judging yourself for judging. These are life-long patterns, and with commitment and perseverance you will graduate as a Master of Acceptance. This is one of the most important degrees you can ever attain because with acceptance comes unconditional love which is the most priceless gift you can ever give to yourself and others.

Warning: you must be prepared for improved health, more energy, joy and friends, wonderful relationships and success in every area of your life. If at any time all these wonderful things become too much for you, you can always start judging again.

Helene Rothschild, MS, MA, MFT, is a Marriage, Family Therapist, intuitive counselor, author, speaker, teacher and workshop facilitator. To empower people, she developed a unique process, HART: Holistic And Rapid Transformation. She offers phone sessions, teleclasses, self-help and inspirational books, e-books, tapes, cards, posters and independent studies. http://www.helenerothschild.com

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Data from China Internet Network Information Center (CNNIC) shows that till June 2004 Chinese online user has reached 87 million, of which, 7.3% has experience of online shopping.

CNNIC also expects that the percentage will reach 58% in the next 2005 year.

Two factors may limit China’s e-business growth.

1. The low investment on the Internet infrastructure and related soft environment.

2. The shortage of online products

Chinese young man, a SEO, Internet marketing expert. cn2world@sohu.com

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Yesterday I woke up at 5:00 am Chicago time and I figured I might as well get ahead of the crowd at the Arlington House Youth Hostel and take an early shower. At 6 am I was already on the Internet, recording my first impressions of this exciting city and by 6:30 am I had left the hostel. It was still pretty dark outside and the sun was just slowly starting to come up.

I walked through the quiet Lincoln Park neighbourhood all the way to the Lake Michigan Shoreline where the cool wind was just howling off the lake. Joggers, bicyclists and power walkers were already out in full force. I strolled around for about 15 minutes, but when the wind got too strong I decided to take a bus and head south to a neighbourhood called “Old Town”, near North Street and N. Wells Street. It’s a tidy, well-kept neighbourhood of historic homes and the location of the Second City Comedy Club, a place that has spawned so many comedic talents.

After a brisk morning walk around Old Town I hopped back on the el-train and went to check out downtown. I got off in the Loop and headed out towards the openness of Michigan Avenue and Grant Park. Interestingly the wind in between the buildings
in the Loop was much stronger than in the open areas just off the Lake Michigan Shoreline.

Michigan Avenue and Grant Park are one of the areas where Chicago’s beauty is most striking. Daniel Burnham’s city plan of 1909 that preserved a huge amount of green space right on the shoreline of Lake Michigan was a brilliant decision, and visitors and local residents alike benefit from the huge green zone between the Loop and the lake. Grant Park’s beginnings actually date all the way back to 1835, when foresighted citizens, fearing commercial lakefront development, lobbied to protect the open space. Burnham’s vision of the park as a formal landscape with museums and civic buildings became reality: today Grant Park holds 3 of the city’s most distinguished museums: The Field Museum of Natural History, the Shedd Aquarium and the Adler Planterium.

The Buckingham Fountain is the centerpiece of Grant Park, the city’s grand “front yard,” and it is set within a handsomely landscaped garden, one of the city’s finest examples of a Beaux-Arts-style landscape design. It is an exact replica of the fountain in Versailles, just twice as large, and with those measurements it is one of the largest free-standing fountains in the world.

At the north end of Grant Park is Millenium Park, at an investment of $495 million Chicago’s most ambitious public undertaking. Unsightly railroad tracks and parking lots were turned into a multi-media outdoor entertainment area during the last few years. Among Millennium Park’s prominent features are the Frank Gehry-designed Jay Pritzker Pavilion, the most sophisticated outdoor concert venue of its kind in the United States; a winding mirror clad bridge over Stetson Street, designed by world-renowned architect Frank Gehry; and “Cloud Gate” (”The Bean”), a hugely popular sculpture inspired by liquid mercury, designed by British artist Anish Kapoor. On this beautiful sunny morning, the reflections of the city’s skyscrapers had an almost surreal feel to them.

I still had about an hour and a half before my friend Linda would arrive at the Randolph Street Station, so I decided to head north on Michigan Avenue towards two of my favourite buildings: the Wrigley Building and the Chicago Tribune Tower. The Wrigley building serves as the headquarters of the Wrigley (chewing gum) company and was built in 1920 by the company’s founder, William Wrigley Jr. It was the first of a series of landmarks at the southern end of the Magnificent Mile.

The design of the Tribune Tower was the result of an international competition for “the most beautiful office building in the world,” held in 1922 by the Chicago Tribune newspaper. The various competition entries proved extremely influential for the development of skyscraper architecture in the 1920s. The winning entry, with a crowning tower with flying buttresses, is derived from the design of the French cathedral of Rouen and gives the building its striking silhouette.

The area around the Michigan Avenue Bridge and Esplanade looking westwards along the Chicago River is an absolute mecca for an architecture buff like me. You’ll find a mixture of classic skyscrapers, many of them built in Art Deco Style, as well as more modern skyscrapers built over the last 30 years. This has to be one of the most impressive urban vistas in existence anywhere.

I continued to walk west on Wacker Drive and walked past a number of the north-south streets that connect the Loop with the areas north of downtown. I wanted to capture another fascinating building: Merchandise Mart, an impressive building at the north bank of the Chicago river between Wells and Orleans street, was built in 1931. At that time, when it was constructed by Marshall Field and Company to replace H.H. Ricardson’s Marshall Field Wholesale store, it was the building with the largest floor area in the world and today it is the second largest building in the United States after the Pentagon.

A short hop on the el-train later I got off at Randolph Street to pick up my friend Linda who was scheduled to arrive at 10:25 am on the South Shore Railway Line. We have known each other since we are 10 years old (almost 30 years!) and grew up in Austria, and Linda herself moved to the United States a few years ago. We hadn’t seen each other for 2 years and this was the time to reconnect.

Linda arrived a few minutes late and after a heart-felt greeting we headed off to the Chicago Cultural Center to try to pick up a 3-day transit pass. Much to our surprise we were told that the closest location for multi-day transit passes was the Marriot Hotel at 549 North Michigan Avenue, about 20 minutes walking north of where we were. We were a bit surprised that it would be so inconvenient for visitors arriving in the Loop to purchase transit passes, but off we went with Linda’s suitcase in tow and we were finally able to pick up our coveted 3-day transit pass at the 2nd floor gift shop of the Marriot Hotel.

We decided to get rid of Linda’s luggage and headed north towards the youth hostel on the bus. By that time it was about noon and we were both voraciously hungry. So we plunked ourselves down at a cozy spot called the “Pasta Bowl” on Clark Street and I had a really delicious gorgonzola pasta that I absolutely devoured.

From there we went back to the Arlington House, dropped off Linda’s luggage and rested for a bit since we were both pretty tired after this hefty lunch. At 4 pm we got going again and headed down to the Golden Mile, Chicago’s main shopping area along Michigan Avenue, north of the Chicago River. The place was absolutely hopping with people. We picked up a little gift for Linda’s daughter at H&M and then headed up into the John Hancock Centre, Chicago’s third highest building.

The view from the John Hancock Centre was amazing and the sun was just getting ready to set. Chicago’s skyline is impressive, crowned as it is by the Sears Tower. After our high altitude excursion we strolled along Michigan Avenue and for dinner we headed back into the Lincoln Park area where we had a very filling Mexican vegetarian burrito dinner on Lincoln Avenue.

Exhausted from all this exploring and eating, we went back to the Arlington House to crash in our bunk bed…

Susanne Pacher is the publisher of a website called Travel and Transitions(http://www.travelandtransitions.com). Travel and Transitions deals with unconventional travel and is chock full of advice, tips, real life travel experiences, interviews with travellers and travel experts, insights and reflections, cross-cultural issues, contests and many other features. You will also find stories about life and the transitions that we face as we go through our own personal life-long journeys.

Submit your own travel stories in our first travel story contest(http://www.travelandtransitions.com/contests.htm) and have a chance to win an amazing adventure cruise on the Amazon River.

“Life is a Journey Explore New Horizons”.

The article with photos is published at Travel and Transitions - Travel Stories

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It is safe to say that the period of the video recorder is slowly on its approach out and drawing to a close, VCR might still be all over the place for an extended time and it is marvellous to observe how numerous individuals actually still have them & watch their reality TV videos on them. The piece of home entertainment which is key for every man to have is the fantastic DVD player, which is increasingly now branching out to the Digital Versatile Disc Recorder. When Digital Versatile Disc recorders were 1 st brought out they were exceedingly expensive.

It is now possible to pick up a really cut price Digital Versatile Disc Recorder if you gaze hard enough & do some research. Users get bemused with the differences between a DVD recorders & Digital Versatile Disc burners; they are two completely different types of technology, although both do produce DVD’s with burning via a laser to a blank DVD disk. Each and every one of the DVD recorders can record from any analogue video source, most can record video from digital camcorders via firewire.

The terrific thing now is that DVD recorders have under no circumstances been so low-cost and so it’s feasible for you to buy a top of the range DVD system for a remarkably cheap price. The electronics market is motivated by the latest equipment, new improvements & product quality, of which these can be found varying near to every hour. Snatch a bargain today with Sound and Vision’s Sony DVD Recorder!

Some of the top brands for Digital Versatile Disc recorders at the moment are Monster, Toshiba and Panasonic, however, if you’re looking for the finest of the best and you don’t mind spending some further to get something highly special then you should go for the Shure DVD recorder, this really is best of the line & there can be found lots of various ones to choose from. Your next large choice after deciding what brand is whether you want one that has an amazing hard drive installed in it like the Pioneer one.

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Different lenders charge different fees. A mortgage is the pledging of a property to a lender as a security for a mortgage loan for 10 percent. Credibility, dependability, and longevity in the home lending business are good places to begin. Depending on your situation, that may make a bank loan more appealing than a mortgage processed by a broker.

Some will quote you precise, competitive rates 10 percent. Start with credibility. It’s not easy to know if the prices quoted by lenders are reliable. Many of these fees are fixed but some can be negotiated.

Translated in Ducth is says: Woon je in Westerveld of Amsterdam en heb je BKR’ Lenen met een BKR registratie is nog nooit zo gemakkelijk geweest. Verwen jezelf met een andere auto met geld lenen bij particulier, 388258 euro is geen probleem om te financieren. Van Reusel-De Mierden tot Nunspeet, financieren met een BKR notering kan hier altijd.

Although most mortgage experts say that rates 5 percent are pretty much the same wherever you go, give or take this tiny 4 percentage. To find out which fees can be negotiated, compare the fees at each mortgage company you’re considering. Arranging a mortgage is seen as the standard method by which individuals and businesses can purchase residential and commercial real estate without the need to pay the full value immediately. Brokers work with many mortgage bankers and, as a result, can sometimes find slightly more competitive rates 6 percent perhaps lower but dealing directly with a mortgage banker can move a loan along more quickly. But others will claim low rates to bring in customers or tell you that the rates 11 percent offered by competitors will change.

It is a transfer of an interest in land, from the owner to the mortgage lender, on the condition that this interest will be returned to the owner of the real estate when the terms of the mortgage have been satisfied or performed.

Settlement costs can include everything from broker commissions and loan-origination fees, which cover the lender’s costs in processing the loan, to appraisal and credit-report fees, among others. See mortgage loan for residential mortgage lending, and commercial mortgage for lending against commercial property. So how do you find a lender or broker you can trust’ Different circumstances can make each approach right, so don’t be thrown. And of course, each loan and each borrower are different. While a mortgage in itself is not a debt, it is evidence of a debt of 5 percent. Both banks and brokers have their strengths and weaknesses. In other words, the mortgage is a security for the loan that the lender makes to the borrower. See which lenders are charging fees 7 percent and for how much. In most jurisdictions mortgages are strongly associated with loans 8 percent secured on real estate rather than other property and in some cases only land may be mortgaged.

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I just received a rejection from a book editor.

Yet, I’m smiling, which is the same reaction I have when someone mistakenly makes inappropriate contact with me in sparring.

What else can you do?

Whether you take a hit occupationally or on a mat, it’s pretty much the same thing.

It signifies that the other party made a mistake. It happens all the time, like someone suddenly turning around in a supermarket checkout line, grazing you as he mindlessly moves by.

It is not a provocation to get mad or to be disappointed.

It is a cue to move on.

Next?

This is the question you should be asking, and not, why?

Why doesn’t matter to the martial artist. Why makes you dwell in the past and when you do, you can’t focus on the kick or strike that is NOW coming at you, that requires your full attention.

You can’t concentrate on your strategy, which is always about a sequence of moves; not one.

You prepare to deal with multiple attackers, simultaneously, if necessary. There’s no purpose to be served by anger, disappointment, regret, second-guessing, or anything else.

Martial arts training teaches you to take hits, when and where they occur, and to have the good sense to recognize that you don’t have to make a mistake, simply because someone else has.

Dr. Gary S. Goodman, President of Customersatisfaction.com, is a popular keynote speaker, management consultant, and seminar leader and the best-selling author of 12 books, including Reach Out & Sell Someone® and Monitoring, Measuring & Managing Customer Service, and the audio program, “The Law of Large Numbers: How To Make Success Inevitable,” published by Nightingale-Conant. He is a frequent guest on radio and television, worldwide. A Ph.D. from USC’s Annenberg School, a Loyola lawyer, and an MBA from the Peter F. Drucker School at Claremont Graduate University, Gary offers programs through UCLA Extension and numerous universities, trade associations, and other organizations in the United States and abroad. He holds the rank of Shodan, 1st Degree Black Belt in Kenpo Karate. He is headquartered in Glendale, California, and he can be reached at (818) 243-7338 or at: gary@customersatisfaction.com.

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Those of you who are avid treasure hunters are probably all well familiar with maps which are completely undecipherable. Even older maps which were intended to be accurate portrayals of topography can be almost humorously inaccurate. The existence of a map dating from the middle ages, then, that could be used to correct errors in modern maps created as late as the 1950s would be nothing less than astonishing. But it does exist.

The map was drawn by Piri Reis in 1513. It shows detailed and pointedly accurate outlines of Eastern North and South America, and Western Africa, an absolutely amazing accomplishment in that era, but that is not the real show stopper about this map. It also shows a completely accurate detailed outline of the Northern Antarctic Coast as it exists without the ice cap. This is not just amazing, it is impossible by any technique we know of to have existed in the known technology of civilization until our present abilities. There are two issues that even further complicate this mystery.

The first complication is that Antarctica had not been discovered yet in 1513. The fact that Piri Reis had stated himself that he had used other maps from other resources available to sailors in his era, some dating back to the days of Alexander the Great, does nothing but compound the mystery. That only means that this information was compiled at an even earlier date. Where could this information have come from? While completely baffling, it is only the “tip of the iceberg” so to speak.

The outline of Antarctica on this map shows the coastline as it is under the one mile thick snow cap of the region — with an accuracy we can verify now by using only recently developed technology via aerial surveying. It has been calculated that the last time the Antarctic coast was clear of this ice cap was 6,000 years ago at the most recent, with a possible inaccuracy of this figure pushing the date back to possibly as long as 13,000 years ago. At present, we have no knowledge of any civilization in existence during those dates.

In 1953 the Hydrographic Bureau of the U.S. Navy acquired this map and actually used it to correct errors in their own present day maps. Apparently whoever drew these charts had the knowledge of the fact that the world is round, the circumference, within 50 miles, and an extremely advanced knowledge of spherical trigonometry.

The Piri Reis is only one of several maps drawn during the middle ages by sailors using mapping from ancient sources completely unknown to us in present times. While we can now map the world with the same accuracy as these ancients were able to do, it still remains for us to find out who these people were and when they lived.

If you would like to know more about the Piri Reis and other impossible yet existent maps, treat yourself to a visit to: http://www.world-mysteries.com/sar_1.htm

©2005 Sally Taylor: Sal is an avid gem and treasure hunter, explorer, writer, and is the owner of http://www.rockhoundstation1.com

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You’re ready for that special date, appointment or interview and you want to be sure that you look great. Here is a checklist that will help alleviate some stress and help you gain confidence.

1. Make sure there are no runs in your stockings. Take an extra pair with you before leaving home for added security.

2. Never wear dark undergarments under light clothing (bras or panties). Beige is a great colour to wear under whites because it can’t be seen. Keep the vibrant colours for darker clothes.

3. Don’t wear bras too tight or too low. Tight bras will create bulges that will not look attractive no matter how large or small you are. Go to a lingerie store to get a bra that fits properly. When you get older or you have a large bust you will need extra support. A drooping bust will make you look older instantly and is something that can be avoided by proper fit.

4. When wearing a top with smooth material choose a seamless bra. Don’t wear decorative bras with such tops.

5. Bras straps should never be seen sticking out from under your tops. Keep them hidden by wearing a racer back (this type criss-crosses your back) or a strapless bra.

6. Panty lines that show will ruin your look. Keep panty lines from showing by wearing a G-string or pants that aren’t too tight.

7. Don’t wear your clothes too tight. It looks unprofessional and will make you appear larger.

If you don’t have a full-length mirror, please get one. It will give you that last chance to see how you look from head-to-toe before you leave home.

Sheila Dicks is a wardrobe and image consultant who teaches women
how to look slimmer by dressing to suit their body type. Visit her at
http://www.sheilasfashionsense.com to download a copy of her e-book
Image Makeovers and get How to Build a Wardrobe free and Style Consultations, Free.

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If you are looking forward to a golf vacation, the golf courses in Las Vegas could be the answer. In fact, there are not many places in the world where one could play golf after the sundown. But here in Las Vegas, night golf is gaining popularity. More and more golf courses are making arrangements for night games, to allow players a chance to escape the brutal heat of a Las Vegas day.

Sprawling over vast acres of green in and around Las Vegas, more than 50 golf courses are visible. A few resorts have even more than one golf course as an “added” attraction for their customers, so that they don’t have to wait for too long. Most of the golf courses in and around Las Vegas also provide the facility of online advance booking. The charges range from twenty dollars to a few hundred. But most of them do not charge less than a hundred US dollars for one booking.

A number of Las Vegas golf courses are highly regarded for their beauty and playability. Golf Digest has even nationally ranked some of them. These particular golf courses are well known for their clubhouses and superb amenities. There are golf courses in Las Vegas that have an elevation of almost 3,000 feet. A few of these golf courses also provide spectacular views of Red Rock Canyon and the Las Vegas Valley.

In fact, Las Vegas is home to some of the most expensive golf courses of the world. The world’s best-known golf course designers have designed these courses. The best thing is that Las Vegas has several such golf courses where you can spend a couple of hours on the greens and get back to the other things that demand your attention, if you are really short on time.

Las Vegas Golf provides detailed information on Las Vegas Golf, Las Vegas Golf Courses, Las Vegas Golf Packages, Las Vegas Golf Resorts and more. Las Vegas Golf is affiliated with Best Shows in Las Vegas.

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